And this is what I was looking up when I found that Bootleg Ultraman toy. This is Ultraman in a Softbank ad as a delivery man. He puts Mr. McFeely to shame with his Speedy Delivery.
Casually remind them you can very easily take this to the next level. And they can earn jail time while you lay back in your chair, having saved yourself and everyone else from a violent criminal.
Your online actions have real life consequences.
Make sure they learn that.
(Just in case there’s a “the police wouldn’t do that” - Yes. They absolutely would.
Or a “I can handle it.” No. That person will continue to harass others as well. And one of them may not be as strong as you. So do it for them and everyone else.
Or a “It’s not that severe.” Yes. It is. People have died because of this. It really is that severe.)
Take action. And make sure the lives of these bullies are truly wrecked.
You guys better fucking reblog this.
Don’t just like it, reblog it. So people know.
You cowards better reblogged this
Wish I’d known this when an ex-friend was doxxing me and I ended up in psychiatric inpatient.
That moment when fiction really will affect reality is, when you bully someone online over it and get arrested for it.
Moving tip: the first thing you should bring into the new house is a roll of toilet paper. The second thing is drinking glasses or water bottles. The third thing is curtains or blinds. Then everything else.
Nope, router first. Otherwise agreed.
Router last. Otherwise this happens:
I’m on my 11th house in 23 years and here’s what should be in your “first” box:
Toilet roll,
Kettle,
Tea/coffee,
Mugs (enough for the number of people helping you to move),
A bottle opener (wine or beer at your discretion)
Disposable plates and cutlery (because the last thing you want to do once you’ve unpacked is wash up)
This was the system perfected by my parents who’ve lived in about 40 houses between them.
ADDITION:
When you get to your new place send someone out for milk for the teas and coffees also maybe biscuits.
Order takeaway your first night. I’m told in America the traditional moving dinner is pizza. We’ve always had a Chinese.
First Box: keep this box handy, pack it while you’re packing and put it in the truck LAST, or up in the front with you so you can get to it right away:
TP and toilet plunger. Hopefully you won’t need the plunger on the first night but it’d be AWFUL to have to look for it in case of emergency.
kette/coffee maker and necessary hot beverage supplies. Including Mugs. Caffeination is Key.
Your fave pan and spatula. You have one. You won’t use it the first night but I promise that you will NOT be done unpacking the kitchen stuff before you’re sick of takeout.
Duct Tape
Batteries
Cleaning supplies- paper towels, all-purpose cleaner, duster- houses get gross when left alone
Router, becuase we’re millenials and we’re going to be googling how to fix/turn on and assemble everything.
Enough bedding to cover your mattress while you sleep on it for the first few nights.
cell phone/laptop chargers
change of clothes, maybe two
If you have some kind of water filter that also fits in this box, bring that.
PURCHASE, FIRST NIGHT:
When you’re getting takeout, get the disposable plates/flatware/cups. Also get takeout sooner rather than later so you don’t collapse of hypoglycemia in the middle of unloading boxes like me, a moron.
I personally reccomend chinese.
If you’ve moved to an area where it’s not safe to drink the tap water unflitered and you’re a dummy like me that forgot to put your filter in the First Box, get enough bottled water to stay hydrated until you can get your filter set up.
milk, eggs, your preferred cooking fat, other meal/pantry staples.
Something fun like cookies or booze. You’ve had a tough day.
If you forgot the TP/batteries/duct tape/cleaning supplies, get those.
To Do Upon Arrival, even before unpacking:
Get there about an hour before the moving truck and do the following:
Re-check all the lights/taps/toilet/appliances/AC/Heater. Things might have happened and you’ll want to call the repair guy ASAP if something needs fixing.
Introduce yourself to your neighbors if they’re home. This will help prevent things like parking issues or noise complaints, there’s a good chance they’ll actually help, and if you’re REALLY lucky they’ll cook and you don’t have to get takeout.
Also if you do need to call a repair guy they probably know someone.
clean up any obvious messes before they get blocked by boxes.
Hydrate and have a snack before lifting.
DO NOT ATTEMPT ON DAY 1
Keep all pets and probably young children contained/boarded/at a friend or relative’s house until all the boxes and furniture is inside to prevent escape.
Hell, you’re probably exhausted. Leave them with grandma overnight.
Do Not Attempt to assemble disassembled furniture on day one. you will do it wrong and possibly slice your hand open with the allen wrench somehow and have to go to the urgent care
try not to go to the urgent care in general.
Don’t bother answering any email, texts, voicemails or nonemergency forms of communication. you’re busy. Possibly you are busy eating chinese and crying, but you are busy.
Exercise. you already did a ton of heavy lifting and cardio. don’t go jogging and pass out in an unfamiliar neighborhood.
Reccomended:
If you own the place or feel confident enough in your spackle and paint abilities to get your damage deposit back, put a nail in a wall and hang something up. It’s your space now.
If you don’t, hang something up with blue tac anyway. Still your space.
So I’ll be honest, I’m not the best Jew to be writing this post. I first saw Fiddler on the Roof at age 19, and the first words out of my mouth were, “Wow! This is really Jewish!” (Meanwhile, my mom was commenting on the Yiddish anachronisms of this play about Russian Jews, because she’s a good Jew who actually Knows Jewish Things) But I hadn’t really heard or seen much about just how incredibly Jewish A Series of Unfortunate Events is, which is a shame because Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler is himself Jewish. So Jewish, in fact, that he helped write the New American Haggadah (including a part about how, just as there are Four [types of] Children who ought to be accommodated during Passover, there are Four Parents who really ought to be ignored.) But seeing as I can’t find anyone better to write about all the cool Jewish culture and symbolism in A Series of Unfortunate Events, I’ll take over until someone else comes along and does a better job.
Spoiler warning, of course. There’s a lot of deep lore that gains new meaning when looked at through a Jewish lens, including the symbolism behind horseradish and the sugar bowl.
‘All that you need to know about boars can be summed up in the fact that if you wish to hunt them, you must have a specially made boar spear. This spear has a crosspiece on it to prevent the boar from charging the length of the spear, driving it all the way through his own body, to savage the human holding the other end.’
-Boar and Apples, T. Kingfisher
fuck OFF
Note that pigs are also HUGE. So, yes, they ARE slightly larger pigs.
So I grew up in the city and have never seen a pig in real life and I just googled it and WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
I thought they were like labrador sized, like, fat labradors, not mini-cows.
every time I see this post there are more people discovering how fuck off huge pigs actually are and I love it I thought this was a thing everyone knew but clearly not and I’m laughing
This is me with our Tamworth boar, a heritage breed closer to their wild cousins than the Yorkshire above. I am a fully grown, average sized human. He was a gentle sweetie who, sadly, is no longer with us. His name was Mr. Big.
FUCK OFF
Forever laffin’ at people who don’t understand how enormous, terrifying, and tenacious wild boar are.
They’re like if bears had knives protruding from their closed mouths and Didn’t Know When To Quit. Their survival instincts when they’re wounded aren’t “run away and minimize injury” it’s “take the thing that hurt you down with you” They also make sounds like someone crossed a pig with an alligator.
Their head and neck alone can be like the size of an entire human torso.
Also forever laffin’ at people who think pigs are tiny, ‘cause we designed those things can get in the neighbourhood of a thousand pounds in ideal circumstances.
It’s like when people assume Tuna must be small because they’ve only ever experienced them in hockey puck form.
Like seriously why the fuck y'all think everyone FREAKED THE HELL OUT when Dorothy fell into the pig pen in Wizard of Oz? It’s because pigs are HUGE and weigh a shitton and would crush her in an instant.
also dont they eat like, basically anything?
YUP. Pigs will eat people, if given the chance. They dgaf.
That’s why boar hunters use a team of very tenacious dogs to hold the boar so they can be speared without fucking you up. The dogs wear body armour.
I’ve heard stories of people shooting boars, and if it didn’t kill them, it just pissed them off.
how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?
…“how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?”
Very carefully, I would imagine.
WIld boar babies are rather cute, like living humbugs…
…but the adults and their ferocity have been associated with warriors for thousands of years, from Mycenaean Greece (a helmet made from sections of boar tusk)…
…through Celtic Europe (reconstructed carnyx war-horns and standards)…
…Ancient Rome (the crest of Legion 20 “Valeria Victrix”). A couple more legions also used a boar as their crest - I wonder did they squabble over which was the “right” one the way a couple of Swiss cantons had a little war over whose bear was best…?
…then Anglo-Saxon and pre-Viking helmet crests…
…right up to the late Middle Ages (here the white boar badge of Richard Duke of Gloucester, later Richard III of England)…
…and the blue boar badge of the Earl of Oxford,
more usually represented by the De Vere arms, quarterly gules and or, in
the first a molet argent.
After Richard was defeated at Bosworth in 1485, there was a run on blue
paint as inn-signs were changed to reflect new loyalties since Oxford
was on the winning side…
It gets mentioned in the movie “Snatch”, the book/movie “Hannibal” and the webcomic “Lackadaisy Cats”, among numerous other fictional sources, and IRL it’s suspected to be the reason why numerous missing persons have stayed missing.
More here (another comment to this same OP) and here (slightly different).
Here’s some boar-hunting armour for dogs, ancient…
…and modern…
…and the modern one looks very like a simple style of ancient…
So when Odysseus’s old nurse recognizes him by the scar he got from the boar-tusk slash that almost killed him… now you get the resonance.
This post…it just really went places on me.
I hope you read this entire post, and that it made your entire day so much better, even if just for a few moments, like it did mine.
